This article, as told to Matt Hamilton, appears in the April edition of US Lacrosse Magazine, which includes a special 12-page section featuring faces and voices of the black lacrosse community. Don’t get the mag? Join US Lacrosse today to start your subscription.

Growing up, obviously I noticed that I was the only black pair of legs running around on the field. That was a given. The thing that was so interesting was that, because I had a father that played, I just assumed that black people played lacrosse.

It wasn’t until I got older and heard these other guys’ experiences and I was like, “Oh, maybe everyone else wasn’t as comfortable at the beginning.” Because of my father, the comfort level of me being the only black kid on the team, it didn’t phase me at all and I didn’t think about it.

When I found out that black people didn’t play lacrosse, that was almost surprising. I was like, “Where are the rest of the black people?” It wasn’t until late in my career that I really started wrapping my head around the fact that so few of us played.

I remember going to the Top 205 camp and looking around, and I want to say there were two black kids in that entire camp. I remember feeling at that point proud, like, “Heck yeah, I’m here to compete.” 

I became comfortable with the role that was taking shape for me in my sophomore year at Hopkins. I would go to a McDonald’s near campus and see black kids with sticks tell me that they were playing because I was playing. At that point, that’s when I started understanding the direction and the trajectory of this generation and the role that we were going to have to play in being ambassadors and continuing to push this thing. That’s when I became very proud to be a black lacrosse player.

Was it weird when you’re in the locker room when the N-bomb drops on the radio and they’re rapping it? Yeah, that’s uncomfortable. Are there things that those guys were into that I wasn’t? For sure.

At the beginning, sophomore year, I was just happy to get in front of as many kids as possible. I wanted a kid, even if it’s just for an hour while I’m there, to see me and say, “I can do that. There’s a guy that looks like me that’s doing what I’m doing.”

The stories I hear from [former Syracuse and MLL player] Jovan Miller and others, grown men that have been through these things. and the high school kids like the Nation United players we get to work with, it’s my duty to do as much as possible and speak up with them. Regardless of what I’ve dealt with or not, I’m still a black lacrosse player.

Everything I’ve been able to accomplish in the sport has hopefully shown the next kid that he could do it. Ultimately, that’s our goal. Kids say, “Holy crap, that’s my superhero and he looks like me.” It means the world.

There are still plenty of racial incidents. It happens all the time. I have a nephew in Maryland that gets called the N-word at games all the time. I get messages and DMs all the time about things that happen. It’s just a weird time.

I won’t blame one person. My biggest worry is that we’re more socially unaware than before because of the climate of the country. The saddest part about it for me, it’s what people are being taught.

The [Catholic vs. convicts post], I don’t know that kid from anyone. I bet he’s not a bad kid. But the fact that he didn’t get that that post was so backward and not OK and not funny, it’s crazy. The deeper problem with this new generation is that a lot of the Nation United kids liked that post.

I don’t think we’re as far as we think we are in our progress. I still hear N-bombs in college games. The fact that Chazz [Woodson] and I put together an all-black team in 2013, and we were getting significant pushback from people, it’s crazy. What would be the issue with that?

“An all-black team, is that really promoting diversity?” Yes? You would think so. It’s a lot of people that I trust and respect, but that was eye-opening for me. There’s a reason we’re not moving very quickly. There’s a reason we aren’t much better.

Jovan Miller posed a question at [the US Lacrosse] convention — how could he look a black kid with good conscience in the face and say, “You’re going to get called the N-word, you’re going to feel isolated, you might feel discriminated against, but you should do it? How do you tell a kid to do it?”

I didn’t have an answer, because I’m not sure. I would tell them that we hope we progress and I hope it changes, but I can’t guarantee you’re going to have my experience.

We’re in a cool spot because this generation right now wants to see change. More so than ever, we have a lot of legitimate guys with voices and platforms and they want to stir the pot. Our group is going to change this thing, somehow, someway, because we’re all passionate about it.